May 27, 2005

Pfft!

Control.

Who needs control?!

I mean, REALLY!

People who know me well well know that when I shed inhibitions, I freakin' shed inhibitions!

Okay, I have had THE massage.

First of all, the place where I went is a retreat and day spa. It's very nice and somewhat posh. Because I am one of those kind of people, I arrived early and received the grand tour.

They have three massage therapists on staff full-time and a number of others who work on a part-time appointment-only basis. Because dear friend had not specified which of the three was to tenderize me, I was allowed to choose.

Well, the first two who introduced themselves damn near had me running for the door. Bambi was probably twenty-two, all of five feet tall and may have weighed ninety pounds if I dropped an anvil on the scales next to her. Deer in the headlights is right.

Next up was this twenty-something guy whose name I did not catch because he had the most interesting hazel-colored eyes and frame that nicely filled the door-way. As attractive as he was, there was NO WAY IN HELL I was taking my clothes off in front of HIM.

Just as I felt my blood pressure top off and my ears began to ring, a very pleasant looking battle axe of a woman about my age introduced herself to me as Helen.

Bingo! We had a winner.

I liked Helen. She explained the different styles of massage and the purpose of the heated stones, etc. She asked how I would like to proceed. I told her this was all very strange and new to me and I had no bloomin' idea.

After a cursury examination of the old neck and back muscles, Helen advised a deep tissue massage would be in order as the stones are primarily for relaxation, not getting the knots out.

My massage was scheduled for ninety minutes.

The first thirty minutes went something like this:

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW...AHHHH.

OW, OW, OW, OW, OW, OW...AHHHH.

All through gritted teeth, mind you.

Of course, any time she went near the ribs, inner thighs, ankles or feet, I had a giggling fit.

(On an aside, Helen made the comment people giggle as a defense when they are hiding something. I'll have to think on that one.)

Somewhere around the hour mark, Helen asked: "Do you ever close your eyes and imagine yourself somewhere, lying on the beach, maybe, the sun warming your body, totally and completely relaxed?"

My response: "Ummmmm. No."

Helen: "There are some people who have never really learned how to relax."

Me: "Let me guess, you think I'm one of them?"

Helen: "It's a possibility."

Notwithstanding my inability to relax, once I became accustomed to the feel of her hands on my body, actually stopped gritting my teeth, and began to breathe deeply, it felt great, wonderful in fact.

I have another appointment in two weeks. I'm actually going again. However, I'm not stopping there either. I take way too much migraine medication and other pain relievers. There has got to be a better way to manage this crap.

Helen suggested the same thing Kate, Mark, and Phin suggested in the comments: chiropractor.

Posted by Christina at May 27, 2005 01:39 PM

Comments

Fuck A Chiropractor!

Posted by: Dax Montana at May 27, 2005 02:36 PM

You know, Dax, that brings up a whole list of issues:

Is he available?

What kind of person is he?

What does he look like?

How well do I know him?

Am I attracted to him?

Know what I mean??

; )

Posted by: Christina at May 27, 2005 03:04 PM

Glad to hear you enjoyed,,,sometimes you have to let go of control to get control-know what I mean?

Posted by: Michele at May 27, 2005 03:54 PM

I think a chiropractor can do you a lot of good, if you have the problems that chiropractors fix. Unfortunately, most of us do.

A good chiropractor doesn't promise you the moon, and takes the time to explain how chiropractic works and what he is going to do. I think of it as physical therapy for the spine because it really gets all of your spinal joints moving again.

You might be surprised how well you feel after a few visits. Pretty soon, after a few months of chiropractic and massages, you might even have to change your blog's name to Mellow Repartee.

Posted by: JohnClif at May 27, 2005 04:10 PM

Chiropractors are useless!!!! Unless you like three times a week at $85 dollars a shot...with a suspicious insurance company sending you letters - "has anyone recently assaulted you, or have you been involved in an automobile accent?"

Yoga baby. Nice calm stretching. Meditation. Don't knock it till you do the vinyasa.

Posted by: sadie at May 27, 2005 04:28 PM

Ok. Now I'm definitely gonna hafta try a massage.

As an RN, I have really mixed feelings about chiropractors. My mom had some pretty severe back problems and she went to one for years..swore by him. He even picked up on a few medical problems and insisted she see an MD.
I've gone and didn't feel like it did much for me. I suppose it's like a lot of other things..if you think it'll work, it will.

John has some good advide..be sure to pick one that tells you upfront that a chiropractor can't fix everything. It's like anything else...if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Posted by: Pammy at May 27, 2005 05:16 PM

Uh..that would be 'advice'. Not 'advide'. Hey, whatta ya expect. I've spent the last 48 hours with a five year old. hehehe

Posted by: Pammy at May 27, 2005 05:18 PM

I think it's a good idea to try out several massage therapists. I've found that each one has their own unique technique, and some are more suited to one's needs than others. Once you find one you like, keep going back because as they get to know you, they can tailor their technique better to what you need and want.
Also, you might be suprised at what the tiny "Bambi" gal could do. One of the places I go to has a gal like that.....and she can do a shockingly amazing massage.

And lastly, I was just like you before I had my first massage. I was absolutely NEVER going to let a stranger touch me! But I finally gave in during a particularly bad crisis in my life....and I think it may have saved my life! Now I can't live without getting a massage at least once a month! I'm a true convert!

Posted by: Dogsdontpurr at May 27, 2005 08:37 PM

i haven't succumbed to going to the chiropractor yet, but have a large number of friends already who swear by them, and wouldn't be able to function if they didn't have someone getting rid of some of their stress knots at some point or another. maybe someday, if i don't have one of them around to help me out, i might try it.

Posted by: amelie at May 27, 2005 08:42 PM

And one last thing! I once had a massage by a male therapist....and even though I was experienced at going for a massage....it was odd. I couldn't relax because of the idea that I was there *naked* with this *man* I'd never met, touching me.

So I think you made a wise decision in not picking a guy for your first massage therapist!

Posted by: Dogsdontpurr at May 27, 2005 08:45 PM

"others who work on a part-time appointment-only basis"

We call them hookers 'round this part of the country.

Posted by: phin at May 27, 2005 09:26 PM

Okay, I know all the pros and cons about chiropractors. Here's my side of it: I go to one, as does my son. They have a massage therapists who work out the office. My insurance PAYS for it. yeah for me. Anyway, from what I understand, you want to look for someone who will explain everything to you, and doesn't do generic adjustment on everyone. My chiro uses the Gonstead method, if you want to look that up, go ahead. I'm not exactly sure what the differnce is.
He is one of those who think chiropractic can cure everything, and I'm not sure about that. He also doesn't vaccinate any of his kids, etc.
I don't agree with everything, but I know I feel better since I had Isaac.
There, i'm done! Whew, I'm long winded tonight!

Posted by: Redhead Mommy at May 27, 2005 09:35 PM

I LOVE my chiropractor! I used to think they were all quacks but after having worked with one on a football field and having another that works for a collegiate football department work on me, I swear by it! But only if you get an honest one... same as any other repetitive service (auto maintenance, etc)

Posted by: Princess Cat at May 27, 2005 10:00 PM

I am like you. I am tense and cannot relax. I have big knots along my shoulders and neck. It got so bad in April, I could literally not move my head. To roll over in bed would awaken me in pain and I would have to LIFT my head up off the pillow with my hands, then roll my body over.

I went for a massage and after much gritting of my teeth and a couple times where she had to remind me to breath, she worked out a lot of it. I need to go back every couple weeks and then go on once a month maintenance.

You should think about it. You may not need a chiropractor, but just regular massages. There is a massage school near me. You can get 1 hour for $30. I do that when I've just worked out too hard in the gym. When I'm a real mess, there is a particular masseuse I seek out who works at a real office.

Posted by: Bou at May 28, 2005 08:52 PM

My wife was a massage therapist for several years, and she worked both at a local health club and as a volunteer at the hospice I directed. Did I mention the free weekly full body massages I got as a fringe?

Learning to relax is indeed key to your mental and physical health. Check out some googled progressive relaxation or meditation links if you need more information. Stress reduction will work wonders.

For you and those around you.

Best exmple I can think of is a patient, in pain, receiving a gentle touch therapy and slowly relaxing while their spouse watched. The caregiver, stressed out for weeks, actually fell asleep as they watched my wife sooth their suffering partner.

The massage school sugestion is great if you have financial inhibitions to massage regularly, but if you find a masseur you like, ask if they do massages off site = unless they own the place they are working, they are paying a cut to the facility. A portable massage table brought to your home can reduce your costs and allow you to melt in your own home for awhile afterwards.

Posted by: epador at May 29, 2005 07:12 AM

I echo the sentiments of Princess Cat! Lower back injuries and pain suck! Also, have your ask about exercises you can do at home on your own. This has saved me many appointments...I am convinced of it! Best part, you always leave feeling great!

Posted by: The Wizard at May 30, 2005 07:11 AM

I used to laugh at people who saw chiropractors. I told them they were crazy, that it couldn't be good for your body to have it adjusted all the time.

Then, I screwed up my neck and back after a fun filled day at Six Flags.

My regular GP recommended a chiro after I had Xrays that showed nothing. I also had (and still have) very slight tingling in my left hand ( first two fingers). Minor nerve damage.

I was scared to go to the chiropractor. No, make that terrified. I thought I would be crippled. But, the pain was so bad, I had to try something.
Joe, my chiro, is the nicest guy. He is very soothing and took the time to talk to me and explain chiropractics to me. He had me get MRIs. He showed me the scans and pointed out where the problems were. It was pretty obvious, even to me. I get adjusted weekly and my insurance does cover it. He did recommend massages for me but I have to get used to that idea!

My advice is to speak with people you know and trust about chiropractors. Word of mouth goes a long way. Besides, you can always check their medical license and see if there are any complaints. Speak to your doctor and see what he/she suggests.

Good luck babe {{{hugs}}} Sorry for the long rambling post.

Posted by: Kate at May 30, 2005 10:46 AM

Have you tried yoga? It can be very relaxing, performed in the privacy of your own home, and is something you can learn to do for yourself.

Posted by: Phoenix at May 31, 2005 09:37 AM

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