June 25, 2005

Four is the new Fourteen

Wee One is just a piece of work. I have never before encountered a child who is so very opinionated or so very strong-willed. At least, she is that way with me.

Conversely, at day school her teachers tell me she is a delightful child and a quiet leader. When she misses a day or so, her presence is missed by her little friends, as well as the teacher.

I just have to wonder what is it about me that brings out that little demon.

Most of today we were out and about running errands and doing a little shopping. At one point, Wee One found the music we were listening to objectionable. She covered her mouth and asserted she was going to throw up if I did not turn it off.

Now, I know both of my children have a tendency toward car sickness. I suffer the affliction as well; however, for me it may well be a control thing because when I’m driving, I never get sick.

Needless to say, I was not persuaded by her argument or her tactics. I did not see the correlation between the music and her alleged upset stomach.

Thus, I simply ignored her and turned the music up a notch and instructed her if she was going to throw up, please do so in the Ziploc bag in front of her. Further, if she missed, she was going to have to sit in it until we got home.

She was not happy. Still covering her mouth, she decided to up the ante a bit and argued: "Momma, turn the music off or I will throw up in your NEW car! I'm warning you!"

WTF?!

SHE's warning ME!

As calmly as I could, I turned to her and told her: "That's TWO! When I get to THREE Mr. Wooden Spoon is going to warm your ass. Are we clear?"

For the remainder of the drive home I heard grumblings and mumblings from the back seat to the effect: "I don't love you anymore. You're mean. I want another Mommy. I want my Daddy." Hell, it was very clear she wanted anyone, but me.

After a few minutes of that, I asked: "Are you talking to me?"

Silence.

Me again: "I said: 'Are you talking to me?'"

Wee One with a major pout uttered under her breath: "No, Ma'am."

When we finally pulled into the garage, Wee One popped out, ran to the bathroom, and promptly threw up.

Well, hell. I still don't see the correlation between the music and her stomach.

Knowing her as only a mother can, I'm beginning to think she can do that on demand.

Posted by Christina at June 25, 2005 04:28 PM

Comments

Good luck. It is amazing how my boys (BOYS) can cry on demand. Doesn't effect me, but sure can throw their dad for a loop.

Posted by: vw bug at June 25, 2005 04:37 PM

Puke on demand? OH...say it ain't so. That gives me something to think about...

Posted by: sadie at June 25, 2005 06:27 PM

Oh my!!

Posted by: Sissy at June 25, 2005 06:28 PM

Oh man - better you than me..
: - )

Posted by: Kate at June 25, 2005 07:17 PM

Bones is just like that. He was carrying on in the car the other day and I'd had it. He finally started to whine, "I'm gonna puke!" so yelled back, "Fine!" and I threw a plastic grocery bag back at him. He promptly threw up in the bag.

I don't know what to think anymore, so I just keep lots of towels and plastic bags. I'm over it.

Posted by: Bou at June 25, 2005 11:11 PM

Either:

a) she was sick anyways and used the heart strings to manipulate the issues (if I am gonna be sick then at least I can use it to my advantage in the Mom/daughter power struggle) or

b) she can puke on demand (if this is the case beware of eating disorders).

I'd bet on a). If so, at least she did wait until she got home.

Three cheers for not being afraid to use corporal punishment, or the threat thereof.

Posted by: epador at June 26, 2005 01:34 AM

If you keep posting funny stuff about Wee One, I'm going to actually laugh my ass off. I'm warning you!!

*runs off*

Haha!

*thump!*

Posted by: zonker at June 26, 2005 10:03 AM

Hell, I spend most of my time tryin' not to puke. On demand or otherwise, however, that gag reflex can be a trying thing no?

Four isn't the new Fourteen Christina... 14 is the real deal... If you wanna buy a vowel, no hell, if you "need" a vowel(which I'm fairly certain you don't considerin' the spoon dialog) I'll be happy to give you one. However... same sex 4/14's and manipulation can be a toughy... Boys want their mama, and girls want their daddy. The same sex parnets seem to be able to call bullshit a little quicker... Pisses the younger ones off when mom and dad get game and respond with "Homey don't play that"... Whether it's a spoon, or a grounding, or a daggonned "gimme the car keys"... stick to your guns... It'll teach 'em it's the right thing to do as a parent... when they get there, if they do.

And at 4/14, lets hope the parenting skill lessons will be filed for several, and I mean, several years later...

Posted by: RedNeck at June 26, 2005 03:54 PM

My daughter is 22 and can still puke on demand!

Posted by: livey at June 26, 2005 09:36 PM

HA! I was able to puke at will once--when the parents tried to make me eat a tomato. Needless to say, that was the last tomato that's ever crossed my lips. Yeeccchh. Too bad it didn't work with other food, i.e. brussels sprouts.

Anyway, consider yourself lucky. Wee One sounds positively angelic compared to my bossy little tyrant--er, princess. (Hey, you got a "no ma'am!") I'll just consider myself lucky that mine hasn't gotten the idea to puke on demand. ;-)

Posted by: Beth at June 26, 2005 10:34 PM

I know this is going to sound a little strange but when my children acted horribly -- especially TO me -- I remind myself that I'm doing something right if they can feel comfortable enough to do that with you.

In other words -- you're not going anywhere.

Dig?

Hang in there.
xoxo

Posted by: Margi at June 27, 2005 03:54 PM

LMAO! Girls are trouble! Make that TROUBLE!

Posted by: Lolly at June 27, 2005 11:33 PM

Oh Lordy.. if that didn't sound familiar - I don't know what would. Our daughters would get along just fine!!!

Posted by: Peggy at June 28, 2005 12:29 PM

You kill me! That is great! How in the world can she already throw up on command. I like your answers to her by the way.

Posted by: Melissa at June 28, 2005 04:36 PM

Does your 4 year old know my 2 year old? :)

Posted by: jody at July 1, 2005 02:48 PM

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