Feisty Repartee

Me? Suicidal?

No.

Just eaten up with the dumbass.

Asian rice crackers, dried cuttle fish, and shrimp chips are popular snacks at my house.

When I was growing up, three or four times a year the family would head to Houston's version of China Town, not far from the George R. Brown Convention Center (the building that looks like the plumbing is exposed on the outside) and where Minute Maid (formerly Enron) Park now stands, for my mother to purchase the foodstuffs and products necessary for her to prepare the authentic cuisine of her homeland for us.

In recent years, the newer Vietnamese and Chinese import grocers have relocated just outside Houston to Bellaire, Texas. This is where my mother now shops as it is not far from where my sister and her family reside.

Fortunately, the sale of Asian grocery products is no longer limited to specialty import stores hundreds of miles from where I happen to be. In fact, just last week I discovered the SuperTarget near my office now offers Asian rice cracker assortments right alongside the Trail Mix stuff.

Oh, happy day!

There was even a variety of rice cracker mixes from which to choose. Most of them included dried peas coated in wasabi. Now, I like the dried peas and I like wasabi on some sushi (along with pickled ginger), but I am not a fan of wasabi peas. They are just too hot. Mind you, this coming from a woman who can hang with the best of 'em in the old jalapeno eating contests.

A few minutes ago, I decided to treat myself to my newly found discovery and opened a bag of these Asian rice crackers. I recognized my favorite little hot chili ones, the ones wrapped in nori, the ones with nori flakes, and the ones that are plain with the great crunch to them. However, there was one type in there I did not recognize. It was twisted in shape and light green instead of the white, tan or chili color of the other ones.

My first thought as I popped several in my mouth was: "Cool. They are making them in different colors now!"

My second thought: "@!$#!!"

I then coughed, sputtered, and gasped for air as my eyes burned and the lining of my nose peeled off and slid down my throat.

Dammit.

I should have known the green ones were wasabi green.

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