September 24, 2007

My Husband is Helping His Friend Cheat

Aren't people funny?

The title of this post is absolutely true, not something just to catch your eye. My husband is helping his friend to cheat...on his diet.

The reason that I am posting this here instead of at the regular place is mostly because the friend's wife reads the other site. And, it is not my place to inform on him if you know what I mean.

More after the jump...

See, the problem is that the friend's wife has him on a diet. But then, she perpetually has him on a diet. But, lest you jump to the wrong conclusions, I must say that they are both perpetually on a diet. And, it is usually some fad diet or another. I'd like to say that they are successful, but they don't seem to be from my point of view (however little that is worth). Could they afford to lose a few pounds? Sure. But they aren't in bad shape at all. Better than most, I daresay.

But, the mother is most definitely the problem in the equation. For one thing, they don't really enjoy themselves when they go out, at least he doesn't anyway. He sneaks over to our house and my husband feeds him ribs or chocolate cake, or whatever else we might have on hand. She knows nothing of this of course.

Now, some might say that I am keeping things from my friend. This argument might hold water if it weren't for the fact that they are both friends of mine and this is an issue in their marriage. I have no say and it is not my place to inform on either of them. The way I figure it, he is an adult and can make his own decisions, as can she. But there is another reason why I don't feel bad about keeping friend's dirty secret.

And that is, she is just bat-crap crazy about food. Case in point: their children. Both of their children are healthy but not overweight. And yet, these kids are hung up on food. The teenager is currently vegan (next month it will be something else) and making her own food (heaven only knows if her parents are monitoring her protein intake) and reading Skinny Bitch, that book Victoria Beckham is making famous. The younger daughter is five or six years old and - I kid you not - freaked out at a local sleepover because there was Splenda "SPLENDA!" in the offered beverage.

"Splenda! Made of Sugar!"

Now, I ask you, is that a healthy response in a 5-year-old? This is the sort of girl who will grow up constantly on a diet, constantly certain that she is overweight, constantly unhappy with her body. Why? Because of her mother. Oh, her father bears some blame in this too, but he has his own issues with the mother, doesn't he?

How do I know all this? Because my mother was this way. She still is. And, I know first hand what it does to a young girl to have a mother who is always telling her she's fat (even when she isn't). It has taken me a long time, but I have finally come to choose happiness and eat smarter. I don't deny myself, but I don't go crazy either. It is a balance. Sure, we could all lose some weight, but then there's no need to get all suicidal about it either.

By the way, the entire neighborhood is participating in the cheating. Other neighbors know the score, but they have also witnessed some of the children's weirdness and equally feel no compunction in keeping the secret.

My own husband fed the friend two pieces of chocolate cake on the sly on Saturday night. Another friend suggested we leave an enchilada on his back porch for a midnight snack. Do I feel guilty? Why should I? I'm not the one making my husband feel like he needs to sneak a piece of cake.

Posted by Phoenix at September 24, 2007 02:19 PM


As you know, I'm presently on Weight Watchers, so I tend to obsess about food. Cooking and eating are two of my favorite pleasures; however, as a person who was in high school standing five feet, five inches tall and weighing all of 130 pounds whose mother told her she needed to go on a diet, I can honestly say the friend/mother is doing far more harm than good to her children. The husband is an adult and on his own.

I think it's hysterically funny the neighbors sneak food to the husband/friend. That cracks me up. He must be a good guy.

Shall I send him a Gooey Cake?

; )

Posted by: Christina at September 25, 2007 11:06 AM

Fiesty, that's cruel of you not to post it somewhere the person who's cheating would get spotted and caught on.. I don't need to diet but I'm one of the lucky few that don't...

Posted by: Gordon Grant at September 26, 2007 05:41 PM

Phoenix, I am fat now. I've never been so fat. But, even when I was not fat, my mom told me I was, a self fulfilling prophecy maybe?

Did they see those photoboards of the anorexic girl? The older one sounds like she may be headed down that path. Ack!

Posted by: oddybobo at September 27, 2007 07:55 AM

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