Feisty Repartee

Damn, I wonder about people...

Today I had the delight and good fortune to chat with all these fine people.

NOLA was one topic of conversation. In fact, while I was jawing with Kate (her husband refers to me as a hayseed with an accent, by the way), I told her the last time I headed down NOLA way I saw the most interesting thing. I mentioned that same incident to Sam and he told me to go ahead and post about it.

So, here goes.

I spend a great deal of time on the road commuting to and from work. In addition, the last few years I have been traveling back and forth from home to Louisiana because of my father's declining health, then death.

On most of those trips I drove a Chevy Tahoe. That vehicle and my lead foot gave me a good vantage point from which I could look into most of the vehicles I passed in my journeys. While I do not make a habit of peering into neighboring vehicles, occasionally an odd thing or two catches my eye.

One day I passed a smaller car and saw a guy with his seat laid way back and his left hand on the wheel. If he had been any further reclined, he would have had to sit in the back seat. I could not imagine that would be a comfortable position from which to drive, but that was his business. As I came abreast of his vehicle, I looked over and saw his wife/girlfriend with her head bobbing in his lap. While not a prude, I was surprised, particularly when he smiled and waved at me.

Good Lord.

As Kate pointed out, men are not known to be able to stand up well under those circumstances, much less drive. That's certainly been my experience, but I digress.

Over the years I have seen other strange things that people do in vehicles. Here are some which came to mind:

I once saw a guy eat cereal out of a bowl with a spoon while driving with his knees.

One woman painted her toenails with one foot then the other straddling either side of the steering wheel.

There was also that guy who clipped his toenails, again, while he was driving.

The flexibility of these individuals is amazing.

There's always the fool with the newspaper pulled across the steering wheel as he is speeding down the highway.

Everyone has probably seen women drivers applying their makeup.

I even had a friend of mine pulled over for putting on mascara before. When she asked the officer what she had done wrong, he pointed out the rear view mirror was not supposed to be pointed at her face while she was driving, rather it's purpose was to see what was behind her. She got off with a warning.

Lastly, several years ago I remember a guy in a very small Honda Civic coupe reach from the driver's seat to the back, unstrap an infant, lift it to the front seat, and change its diaper, all while driving down the highway at 65+ miles an hour.

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