August 02, 2005

Private Reality

Each of us has a private reality made up of parts of ourselves we seldom reveal to others.

How willing are you to share?

At the end of the day, does not the benefit outweigh the harm?

Posted by Christina at August 2, 2005 07:37 AM

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Comments

That all depends upon who you are sharing with, I guess.

Posted by: Oddybobo at August 2, 2005 08:31 AM

While there's benefits to sharing, I think that there's a lot to be said for keeping some things to ourselves. I share with those whom I feel comfortable sharing. I share with those whom I feel deserving of sharing. I share with those whom I feel WANT to share back. (I hate when people force the sharing of stuff that I don't want to know about. Or just try one-sided sharing.)

So those are my criteria for sharing. The rest of the world can kiss my mullet.

Posted by: zonker at August 2, 2005 08:35 AM

Christina,

The Japanese - and I'm sure there are other cultures with the same comparison - say that a man has three hearts. One for everyone to see, the second for only his closest family and the third for only himself to see - his true self...

Posted by: Ed at August 2, 2005 09:08 AM

I'm willing to reveal anything.. but isn't it the other person that you are more concerned about when you make the decision to share. How it would impact you or your relationship with this person? Or perhaps how they would use the information?

I wouldn't tell my boss that I smoke pot... you learn that you can appreciate the form of other ladies while you are out, but you normally wouldn't share that information with your female companion.... You have to weigh the impact it would have on you versus what benefit it would have to share...

It is always easier to talk with a complete stranger that has no impact on your life... hmm.. no impact.. is that possible?

Posted by: paws30 at August 2, 2005 09:09 AM

How willing I am to share depends on how much trust I have in the other person, what's being shared and why.

In general, and based on experience, I share very little unless there's an extremely good reason to, but it's a really interesting question.

Posted by: Nugget at August 2, 2005 09:31 AM

That is a very interesting question. With no easy answer - at least not for a thinking person. Ed's "three hearts" is interesting. But maybe there's a 4th heart evolving. One for the blogosphere to see!

Posted by: Lolly at August 2, 2005 10:29 AM

There is no 'right' or 'wrong' answer here; it's a matter of what one is comfortable with and how much trust there is between the people sharing. Some things are better left unsaid.

Posted by: Michele at August 2, 2005 11:28 AM

Ed, is so correct!!!

Posted by: Yabu at August 2, 2005 11:58 AM

Excuse me, Miss Feisty, but could you repeat the question?

;-)

Posted by: sadie at August 2, 2005 12:20 PM

What was it that Shrek said about ogres and onions? Everyone's got their layers?

Without a doubt, my blog just skims the surface of the real me (whatever that is) most of the time, but every so often I'll peel back a few layers and let something juicy out.

Away from the forced anonymity of the blog, I'll peel away even more, but I've still got limits. While the world is no better or worse off knowing about my addiction to chili dogs and Jimmy Buffett tunes, it's probably better off not knowing that I really like serpxyrq oeharggrf fgvyy zbvfg sebz gur fubjre fzryyat snvagyl bs crccrezvag naq creshzrq fbnc!

The harm comes, IMHO, not from someone revealing something kept deep, but in the imprecise manner it's presented and/or received, often leading to misunderstandings, fear or doubt.

Posted by: El Capitan at August 2, 2005 12:21 PM

little, very little. I share what parts that I want others to know, the rest I keep to myself.

Posted by: Contagion at August 2, 2005 12:26 PM

Sometimes things happen to us and you wonder, "Why did this happen to me?" and then you meet someone who may be going through the same and you think, "Maybe my suffering was not for naught... but that good can come from the pain".

Then it is time to share.

Posted by: Bou at August 2, 2005 02:38 PM

There are some things in my secret heart of heart that I simply won't share with anyone. I could not stand the potential change in their view of me. (And that change would be a distortion, not a recognition of the truth.)

There are other things I won't share publicly because no one would believe me, and I already have enough of a credibility problem. :-)

Apart from that, many people I'm sure think that I share TOO much as it is. ;-)

Posted by: WitNit at August 2, 2005 04:03 PM

For better or worse, I spill my guts. Luckily, I've never had anyone stomp on 'em. Yet.

Posted by: Pammy at August 2, 2005 05:32 PM

I've noticed on the blogs i'll say most anything about myself,no fear. I think people myself included share in proportion to the confidence in theirselves. The more you know your self the more comfortable you sharing your thoughts and who you are.

Posted by: bob at August 3, 2005 07:37 AM

The answer, I've found, is no.

Posted by: Tony at August 3, 2005 07:58 AM

Our own little skeletons in what are not necessarily private closets. Do you find sometimes it is a relief when you do share some of this?

Posted by: Dishonorable Schoolboy at August 4, 2005 10:28 AM

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